There is a Quaker value I hold in my thought a lot of the time - the Quaker value of “Simplicity.” I think about this value probably every day.
“It takes a lot of work to look simple,” Steve Jobs said something like that one time, I am told.
My whole life, people have shared amazement at how many things I can do - play violin, viola, piano, write, crochet or knit, make ice cream, bake, cook, create so many kinds of things from scratch, paint (canvas, paper, murals), cartoon, illustrate, write just about anything, make soap, amaze audiences with yo-yos or bubbles, talk about practically anything, … the list goes on and on.
In October of 2018, I found out I had (lifelong) undiagnosed heart issues. I had heart surgery in March, 2019.
My world narrowed significantly after that. I had to look around at all the projects I intended to do “one day,” and narrow my focus. I had to find simplicity in the chaos I had built around me. I pared my soap making down to about 10% of what it was. I got rid of all of my hobbies. I had a whole room and a half of hobby stuff - jewelry I wanted to make, clothing I wanted to sew, photographs and projects to do of all kinds, and of course the never-ending photo album making of a mom of 2 kids.
I decided to just simplify my life. I kept all my violin and piano music. (Granted, I had 1 book and 1 sheet music for piano, but I had a lot more violin music.)
My life changed drastically after that. I moved a few times. First in home, then down state, then 1/2 way across America. Each move, I pared down stuff and didn’t know where my destination would lead me, each move, trying to simplify my possessions.
I will never be a minimalist, and in between one of my moves, a psychiatrist diagnosed me with some hoarding complications. That hurt pretty badly. I saw it on my file after I had dismissed him, and he never talked with me about it. It stung to see that in my medical file.
I admit that I have to work on not piling things everywhere, but it hardly felt fair for him to diagnose me with that when the bulk of my possessions were in storage and I was living out of boxes and a suitcase and a portion of a friend’s shared closet.
I have since completely emptied out that storage and looked at my possessions in my tiny house. It’s 600 square feet. The table has my usual piles on it - all the things my ADHD can’t figure out how to prioritize. But I am keeping up with most of it, so long as I don’t have an issue like I did at the end of December - my back going out so I can hardly move without excruciating pain.
But, as Mark Twain would say, “I digress.”
I wanted to write about how I am simplifying my life. I did my best somewhere between the Solstice on December 21 and the common idea of New Year on January 1 (this is my annual time for self-reflecting) to find out what I really need to do.
I’d heard from yet another doctor that I have to lose weight if I don’t want to get cirrhosis. I don’t know what that is, but I know it’s more than what I have now: fatty liver bordering on cirrhosis. A trainer friend who I now consider to be family, tells me, “you do NOT want to get cirrhosis.”
During all those moves I talked about, I tried intermittent fasting. I tried cutting down my sugar. Neither seemed to take because my heart / my head wasn’t in it.
But I sat quietly at the end of 2023 and just tried to think about my life and what I want to do, coming up.
What do I want to do?
I want to play violin. Done. I’m playing again. I played on stage in Las Vegas, Nevada in August, 2023. I played violin in something like 12-15 states, plus British Columbia, Canada in the Spring of 2023.
I want to write books. I got some feedback at the end of 2022 that threw me for a tailspin and I didn’t write any books in 2023.
2023 was a year of rest and recovery for me. I slept a lot and tried to not get sick. I had a lot to recover from and I tried my best to learn how to talk nicely to myself in my own head.
So - I have come up with clarity - my simplicity for 2024.
I want to focus on my health, playing violin, and writing. Write what? Books, blog posts, and this newsletter.
You may also remember that in September, 2023, my sweet dog, Sparky died. Around the December solstice, I got a new puppy! He is 1/2 Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and 1/2 American Cocker Spaniel. He looks like a petite ruby Cavalier King Charles Spaniel with a docked tail. He was one of 27 puppies surrendered to a rescue organization from a woman who had over 200 dogs and couldn’t feed all of them.
My partner named him “Turbo.” Because he is constantly running at full speed. He is the most aggressive face licker I’ve ever had. He is so enthusiastically loving as often as possible. He’s got my other dog, Jasper, running around the house. They chase and argue over beef chews and play tug of war with knotted rope bones. Turbo is a constant source of entertainment. He makes me laugh multiple times per day.
I brought a new friend over and told her I wanted her to meet Turbo. She and I had barely walked in the door, and I called him, “Turbo!” He came running so fast that he slid another 3 feet past us. She and I both howled with laughter. That’s my Turbo! Full speed ahead, with laughter following behind him. My partner says “he is Turbo-charged!”
I am loving all the laughter and joy in my home now, in large thanks to Turbo. I’m starting to turn music on and dance to it. And I’m playing violin every day again.
Sparky was deaf, so he would stay in the room with me when I practiced. Jasper didn’t know any better, so he followed Sparky’s lead. Turbo, on the other hand, ran for the hills whenever I started to play. If I stopped, he would come back in, then he would run out again if I started up again.
I am signed up to play with a local chamber orchestra in early February. The music is the hardest music I have ever tried. It’s quite the challenge. As I am getting better, I guess Turbo is noticing - because today he stayed in the room while I was playing. That was a nice change. My dog noticed I’m getting better at violin. That’s pretty cool.
I feel like this newsletter has gone on long enough, so I will close with: I am hoping to write more than 1 book this year. I have started many and fizzled over them thanks to my ADHD way of hyper focusing, losing interest quickly, then forgetting. But I really do want to write these books. So this is the year to plug away at them.
Having said that, I first want to get through the February 4 concert. After that is done, I try out for the Friends University Orchestra. I’ve been invited to try out for a scholarship to play in the orchestra. That’s some time in March. I will let you know how these go in the next newsletter!
In the meantime, I have more thoughts and ideas rolling around in my head and things I want to do this year and I’m trying to keep my focus: Play violin, write, get healthy. PS: I have already quit sugar this year. It’s a choice every day, and I am choosing it. And I was down 4 pounds total this year so far. So that’s cool!
I hope you’re having a good new year so far. And I look forward to hearing from you in the comments under this newsletter, on social media where I post my stuff, often under the hashtag #TheTravelingViolinist, in my email box, or in person if I see you around somewhere.
Finding Focus: Finding Simplicity for 2024.
With appreciation for all of you,
Jodi Rose Crump, Author, Violinist, Artist
PS: What do you think of my new email header? It appears the server ate my old one, so I made this new one. It shows the things I am focusing on this year.