Drifters
Leonardo DaVinci may have been the first one
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The following is a piece I wrote in June 2018, after hearing a broadcast on National Public Radio (NPR) where the two hosts were discussing Anthony Bourdain’s recent suicide.
I was encouraged to make this a TED Talk, but I haven’t had the spoons to sort that out because I keep drifting from project to project. 😆
I’m sharing it here and would love to know if this resonates with you.
Drifters
There is a kind of person labeled as “drifters” or “wanderers.”
The following is my observation of the ones I’ve met & known & observed from afar.
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When I was a little girl, my dad’s college roommate used to visit us. His name was Phil. According to my dad, Phil was a considerably wacky guy. His head was so far in the clouds that he couldn’t do anything practical. He floated from job to job.
My dad told me about the time Phil had come to visit. My dad’s record collection was sitting on the kitchen counter next to the stove. Why were they there? I don’t know. They were in Phil’s way, so he moved them to the stove. I don’t know whether the stove was subsequently turned on, whether Phil turned it on, or whether it had just been turned off, but for whatever reason, the stove was hot. The records melted and then caught on fire, setting off the fire alarm.
I am not sure that my dad ever forgave Phil for that. I know he was still irate about it when I was a little girl.
Another time, Phil visited, and my dad served pancakes. His pancakes were made by first grinding wheat, then adding ingredients “by eye.” He said he just knew when it looked right. He didn’t measure, and they were always excellent. I loved my dad’s wheat pancakes. Phil took a bag of sugar and basically poured almost all of it onto the pancakes. Hahaha! My dad thought that was ridiculous.
My mom told me a story of how every time Phil came to visit, they would go out to eat Chinese food. Phil really loved Chinese food, and that’s what they would always get. She said there was one time at dinner that Phil took out his contact lenses and rinsed them in his water glass. She thought that was bizarre. She insisted she never held him any ill will, though - she said there was just that the one thing he did was odd.
You know what’s interesting about Phil to me? The guy is a brilliant man. Incredibly brilliant.
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Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, and Steve Jobs were all very brilliant. But, they couldn’t seem to conform to what people needed them to be.
I was listening to a radio broadcast about Anthony Bourdain’s suicide. I want to think he found a way to focus his drifting. I have to admit I never watched his show, although I plan to now! But to hear the radio hosts talk about him, with the gentleman who knew Anthony “Tony” Bourdain, they called him a “drifter.” And they linked being a drifter with feeling suicidal.
The world tells people: “Get a job. Maybe get three during your career.” The world seems to put forth: “Bouncing from job to job is bad.” What if it is THIS STIGMA - this human belief that is actually the bad thing? What if being a drifter is not inherently bad? But, it’s the stigma that is part of the problem? What if it is this stigma that causes depression?
What if - it’s tough for folks who are geniuses to stay in 1 job? My guess is they have so much they want to learn. They don’t want to feel stuck in one place that doesn’t fulfill them after a while. They want to learn new things and go to new places.
Then, society blames them for quitting yet another job. And tells them, “You need to have a job!”
Well, some folks like to put a backpack on their back and drift around Europe, exploring and eating and meeting people, doing odd jobs here and there to earn their meals. Earning a bunch of money washing dishes at one restaurant, then moving on to another place, and spending the money they have earned and finding a job when they are out of money.
What if this lifestyle brings them happiness? Who are we to judge them so harshly?
I would love to see more compassion and less judgment about people who change jobs frequently.
I have been a person my whole life who cannot figure out what I want to be or do, like, for a career. I have had many odd jobs and some almost stable jobs.
I’ve been a waitress, an usher for a big circus, gone on TV to bubble for an audience, and played violin. I’ve done data entry for a large tobacco company and a small cable TV company. I’ve stuffed envelopes, I’ve copied newsletters by the 100s, I’ve written blogs, organized countless beautiful events, sold paintings of mine, and now I make soap while being a homeschooling mom.
I’ve also struggled with depression during most of that. It’s hard to constantly be told by family members that I should “get a REAL job.” “That job isn’t something you need a college degree for.” You know what? I didn’t WANT a college degree. I wanted to go to cosmetology school and cut hair and paint fingernails. So what if I want to go selling things, door-to-door? So what if I want to volunteer and put books on the shelves at a library? I have been an assistant preschool teacher, a public school substitute teacher, a wedding planner, and a Yoyo demonstrator. I’ve also sold toys by barking at a Renaissance festival, done calligraphy (and been paid for it!), and described wine in a way that made people enjoy their time drinking it and then buy a bottle or a case of it. I have also sold tickets at a movie theater and then been promoted to manager at the same theater!
Why should I be shamed by my family members and others if I have not had just one job, but I have had probably 30-50 jobs, and right now I have given up my jobs as a concierge at a senior assisted living facility, a wine pourer at a winery, and as an usher for the circus while it’s in town?
Stop shaming me and start celebrating the fact that I can do so many kinds of things!
Shouldn’t we want people on this planet who are diverse? People who don’t have such a narrow view of everything?
A person who can do many things, has met all kinds of people, and heard all kinds of stories. They have learned from so many perspectives. I’ve been friends with rich people and impoverished people. I have had wonderful conversations with seniors and also with little kids.
Anthony Bourdain made his living in the restaurant industry. The restaurant industry is grueling work. You have to spend every moment there doing something. Rolling silverware, filling pepper shakers to the absolute brim, pouring ketchup from one bottle to another (this is called “marrying”) and folding pizza boxes and stacking them high above your head on a shelf over a slippery floor and sorting silverware, throwing food in the trash can, staying up very late, to clean up everything. Scrub the grill, sweep and mop the floor. There are days when a pest control service comes to the restaurant, and everything needs to be covered up first. Cover the silverware, the tables, the salt and pepper shakers, the food prep surfaces ….
You don’t actually need a degree to work in a restaurant. It’s a grind. You can go from being a dishwasher in the industry to an Executive Chef if you prove you have a good work ethic and prove yourself.
A lot of folks in the restaurant industry work their butt off. They carry pots and pans and bowls that are incredibly heavy - like you can’t believe. It’s literally bone-breaking work. Backs, wrists, arms, the floors are slippery, and the items are heavy. And the work is constant.
A lot of the folks in the restaurant industry need to wind down after work (just like those folks who work 8-5 need to wind down after work). So, imagine getting off work at 1 or 2 am and then wanting to wind down. Sometimes restaurant workers will go to another restaurant and eat there (they leave large tips!). “No tip should ever be under $5,” a restaurant friend taught me. I have abided by this advice ever since.
Or, they will go home and drink. Alone or with each other. Since it is physically hard labor, some will also do drugs.
This lifestyle can get people really down, mentally. They can get depressed. Drug use, alcohol use, and gambling can go up. This can amplify depressing thoughts. Quitting a job can happen easily when someone is feeling down. And then they go on to the next job when they are feeling better. That job is a grind. Their family learns they have quit a job, will be working at a new job, and will make their small-minded, judgmental comments....
What if we all learned to accept each other for who we are and how we present?
What if the driver doesn’t want to have to keep changing jobs? What if they don’t want to be depressed? Depression is a chemical imbalance, like cancer is. It’s a mental health sickness. It’s not a choice. And then, on top of having depression and a thirst for life and travel, they can’t do it, and a family member makes angry, judgmental remarks about the whole thing? Is that helpful?
What if the person would love to have a job that suited their creativity and intellect? A solid job or three for their entire career. But their intellect isn’t honored. Their people skills aren’t honored. So they drift along again. Trying out yet another job, hoping for happiness and enough time off to enjoy their life.
I think there are precious few people who are able to strike the balance between their intellect, their drifting desires, and their creativity. Vinton G. Cerf was a boss of mine at MCI / Worldcomm back before September 11. He is often referred to as “The Father of the Internet.” He travels all over the world, constantly. The flight attendants all know him by name and give him upgrades. He is a highly creative, high-level thinker. He has a desire to put IP on everything, including the planets! I consider Vint Cerf to be one of the lucky few who get to do what he loves for a living, get paid well for it, and travel the world. He is also an extraordinary people person. He listens really well when people are speaking to him. I feel abundantly grateful that I got to know him for a brief period of my life.
I think Bob Dylan may be another drifter who was able to somehow strike a balance. He met lots of people, worked in small-time cafes for as long as it took, and eventually got to be a folk singer and drifter who made money at his craft.
Oh, how I wish we could all find that inner something, our own spark, and then make a living at it. The American dream is “do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Too many of us are stuck working something that we may enjoy part of, but it becomes a grind, and so many of us get depressed because we are stuck in a job that doesn’t inspire us.
I have to say something here from my own perspective about creative people, too. I’m hugely creative. My dad was, too. Walt Disney was super creative. Did you know that Disneyland was the first theme park ever? He didn’t want to make just another Amusement park. He had a vision of a theme park. The entire park is themed. And each spoke of the park was themed too. Futureland, Adventureland, Story Land, the costumes, the colors, the rides, the food. Everything themed. I recommend you watch the movie, “Walt before Mickey,” and see how much he was shoved down before he was able to rise up and do what he wanted.
Depression is a real thing for creative types. Vincent Van Gogh sure suffered from it. No one wanted his vibrant, bright colored paintings while he was alive. Everyone would love one now, on their walls. He couldn’t recover from this painful heartbreak and committed suicide. He was a man with a clear vision.
Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, Robin Williams: none of these folks think the way the vast majority of people think. Each of them was able to rise up and earn a living and have a career in one industry that they were able to stay in. Somehow, though, they still couldn’t seem to escape depression. They probably fought it all their teen and or adult lives.
We know we need more mental health help for folks. I see it in my Facebook feed all day long—phone numbers to call if you’re feeling depressed. “Teens helping teens,” moms who are feeling stuck (I have definitely been one of them, that’s for sure!), struggling with depression, knowing they should fill their lives with gratitude that their kids are healthy and safe.
What if, in addition to mental health resources, everyone learned to cut out the judgment and anger at people who are different from us, and help rid the world of so much of the depression that plagues people who choose to live their lives differently from what is considered “The Norm.”
I don’t want to live in a world full of dull, black, white, tan, gray. I want my life to be filled with vibrant, colorful, and beautiful. Full of joy, experiences, and creativity! Don’t you? Let’s encourage the drifters, the wanderers, the creatives, the geniuses. They don’t think the way the vast majority of people around them believe. They can’t stay in one job necessarily, because they are too creative, too bright, too bored with the same thing day in, day out.
Let’s celebrate their differences and see how, if we get out of their way, they will rise up and make this world a better place — for ALL of us. Maybe this will be one piece of the puzzle that will reduce depression, anxiety, and suicides.
—- Jodi Rose Crump, June 26, 2018
I am looking for folks who would love to read my next book this week & leave a review on the day it comes out! Are you interested in getting an ARC of my new book? It comes out Friday, December 19! Send me a message and let me know !!
