I have been driving for about 4 weeks now. I started in Kansas, went to Northern Virginia, then beelined as fast as I could - up to Nova Scotia and then toured the Maritime Canadian provinces for a few weeks. On the road trip, I have been doing a lot of mental processing on this road trip. I love long road trips, because it gives me a lot of solitude time to think and figure things out.
A lot has happened this last week, and I’ve had a lot to mentally process.
I faced one of my biggest fears ever a few days ago - I drove through Quebec! I had heard my whole life that they don’t speak the French we learn in school there, they speak their own version of French. And they are snobby about people who come to their province and don’t speak French.
I took a little French in 4th grade in an after-school-program. I learned a little French. I guess I also took 2 years of French my first 2 years of high school, also.
In addition to French, I also took Latin, Spanish and German in school, too. German was the most recent. I love languages, and if I could, I would learn Italian, Russian, Hebrew, Madarin Chinese, Japanese and so many other languages. I just haven’t really figured out how to put all that learning into my days.
Anyway, so I went to Quebec. It was like a culture shock! I drove through New Brunswick, Canada, and saw the signs and the beautiful scenery. And then suddenly, it was like I went through a worm hole and I was in a French place. All the signage was in French. All the names were like Rue-du-Champs. Or Rivière-des-Prairies. There were multiple long names in a foreign language on each sign. It was hard on my eyes to figure out these signs while blowing past them at 100 kilometers (klicks) per hour.
And then I would run into people who spoke French. Undoubtedly, the majority of them probably asked me, “may I pet your dogs?” In retrospect, I should have looked that sentence up in an English-to-French translation app before I went.
I spoke to a little girl first thing in the morning at my first hotel in Quebec.. She spoke beautiful French. I couldn’t understand a thing she said. I tried to tell her, “I am American, I don’t speak French.” But of course I said it wrong. The poor girl - I don’t think she understood that not everyone speaks the same language she does. She stared at me as if my skin had turned violet with pink polka-dots.
I happened upon a trick - -
Because I was walking my dogs everywhere I went, and because they are cute and love people and dogs, people stooped down a lot to pet them. And I would just smile.
A few of those people would turn around and ask me questions. I couldn’t understand the bulk of what got said to me. And these people would realize I don’t speak French. But NOW - they had to continue being nice to me, since they had just proven themselves to be nice.
The drivers, on the other hand, scared the daylights out of me. I was sitting at a stop sign, doing the legal thing where you come to a full stop before proceeding. In Kansas, if I do not come to a complete stop and pause for a small moment, I get a traffic ticket for running a stop sign.
The first bad encounter I had with drivers in Quebec, I had just come to a full stop at a stop sign, and I was moving my foot from the brake pedal to the gas pedal. And not one, but TWO cars blew past me. They just skipped the stop sign and went around me very fast.
My last bad encounter I had with a driver in Quebec was someone following me with their brights on. I was so blinded that I pulled over and put on my flashers, hoping they would pass me. This driver got in my side view mirror and kept their bright Iights blaring at me. I had to cover my eyes from the blinding light. It was awful. It maybe lasted only 5-10 seconds, but it felt like it went on forever, before he finally passed me. I swear Quebec drivers were basically fine, until they saw my Kansas license plate and made assumptions about an American visiting their province, and then did all kinds of horrible things to intimidate me.
I cannot emphasize enough how scared I was to go to Quebec. But I faced that fear head-on this week and accomplished it! And I got through it! I re-learned some French and learned some new French, too. I talked with more people in Quebec than I did in Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick and Ontario!
I had to get gas a few times there, so I spoke with people at the station. I had to get dog food and had to figure out how to ask the attendant at the door where the dog food was (pantomiming hadn’t worked). And I ordered food. I thanked people. I checked in to 2 different hotels while there and it all went fine!
And - here is my conclusion for this newsletter -
I have spent years and years and decades being told exactly why I cannot do something. I am told I am “not thinking things through” or that I “will fail, and here are the dozen reasons that show how Jodi will fail if she tries this.”
In recent months or so, I see people with rather mediocre talent advertising their skills and what-not on Facebook. They are making a whole lot more money than I am. What do they have that I don’t have? Confidence. Even if their talent is mediocre, they have confidence in themselves.
I look around me at some folks doing things I wish I could do - painting pictures, learning languages, writing books, learning their instrument, and other things. And I realized that while I didn’t get the encouragement they may have gotten (and continue to receive), maybe it’s time for me to cheer myself on in my own head.
What if, instead of talking myself out of everything and sitting there, frozen, overwhelmed, unable to tackle something because “what if I fail?” - what if I instead say, “what if I succeed?”
I am hoping to make this new shift in my thinking. I have books I want to write & I keep putting them off. I have music I want to write and practice.
No more “what if I fail?” For me. I will be changing this to - “What if I succeed?”
I apologize if this doesn’t have photos in it or make much sense. It’s been a very busy day for me today and yesterday and the day before. And I struggled very hard to come up with something to write about.
I am still mentally going over some rather big things that happened to me in the course of the last week. Hopefully I will have processed these things and be able to write about them for Saturday’s newsletter.
Thank you for reading! Have you faced any of your fears recently, or in the past? Are you the kind of person who faces their fears head-on? Or do you avoid your fears and hope they never come to pass? I would love to read your point of view in the comments.
One last fun thing - I have resumed making recordings in different US States, and also Canadian Provinces! You can see my latest released song from Delaware here:
#TheTravelingViolinist in Delaware
In this video, I improvised a melody in Delaware. I hope you enjoy it!
Jodi, I really enjoyed reading this blog! I love the way you write as if you’re just sitting with me and having a conversation. I love your message too. You are definitely succeeding in life! Your travels are amazing and your growth is too!! Thanks for sharing!! May I share your message at my TOPS group? I think it’s just what some of them need to hear.
I'm definitely one of those people prattling on on Facebook with lots of confidence and only a little talent LOL. Only kidding. Jodi! I love that you have been doing your newsletter. I had a busy couple of months and so I haven't had the time to sit and read one yet. BUT I was happy to see each and every time my Substack app sent an alert across my cell phone screen with your name on it. So exciting to see that! Congrats on, not only starting your blog/newsletter but continuing it. That's where I struggle! I started a blog 20 years ago when I started teaching and I LOVED doing it but just didn't keep it up. Starting again has been on my list for the past year or so and you and Whitney Conner Clapper have both been inspiring me to do it! Let's see if I do. Thanks for this blog. I always enjoy how openly you share your thoughts and feelings and struggles and emotions. I think it's a powerful thing to be able to do! And I love your message of- "It they can do it, why not me?!" Honestly, I think putting in the work is the key to success- that old adage about perspiration and inspiration. Keep going! Looking forward to reading more and hopefully sharing one of my own soon!