[Blue and turquoise abstract watercolors over a white background. In black print, it says, “My Name Is Jodi.”]
Ready for this one?
Here we go:
Here is a list of all the schools I went to - sans names.
School 1 - Kindergarten
School 2 - First Grade & most of 2nd grade
School 3 - Last 6 weeks of 2nd grade - 5th grade (the longest school I ever attended)
School 4 - 6th grade
School 5 - Most of 7th grade
School 6 - the last month of 7th grade thru 8th grade
School 7 - Freshman & Sophomore year in high school
School 8 - Junior & Senior year in high school
School 9 - Local Community College - 1st 2 years of college
School 10 - Orchestra at George Mason University
School 11 - Junior & Senior Years in College
After college, at one point, I realized I’d moved 11 times in 7 years. I stopped counting after that.
In the last 4 years, I have moved 4 times.
Every time I move, I work so hard to make friends. And I finally find a friend, and then move again. It’s been lonely, frustrating, sad, isolating - I have never felt “community.”
Because I was perpetually “The New Kid,” I always sought out the new kid who came in the group, and friended them so they wouldn’t feel isolated and alone. Then, they would invariably get promoted to hanging out with everyone else, and I would find myself isolated again, then move again, to once again - become the new kid.
My older son went to 4 schools - 1 of them was being homeschooled for a year with me - his choice. He starts his 5th school in the fall - at the local Community College. He took 2 gap years and I am proud of all the choices he has made. Keeping my kids in their same school district was super important to me, so they didn’t have to go through what I went through. I’d say it paid off.
My younger son went to 4 schools. 1 of them was being homeschooled. He is now in a gap year after graduating high school. Him not changing schools all over the place has been a huge benefit to him, too.
Neither of my kids really ever had to be “The New Kid,” and if they were, it wasn’t for long.
I have lived in my newest community under 2 years now, and I still feel like the outsider, looking in. I don’t know how to do things differently from this - I have no experience not being “the new kid.” I can’t find any friends to speak of, and most of the time I am home alone with my dogs. And my health keeps in bed a lot of the time, too, which doesn’t help matters.
I am tired of being the one who constantly has to reach out and invite people to things, and constantly be turned down in one breath, and in their other breath, they tell me about all the wonderful things they do with all of their local friends.
I have learned, very clearly, that people who haven’t been in my situation absolutely CANNOT relate to what I am going through. They have zero concept of how lonely and isolated I feel.
When do I stop having to be “The New Kid?” I’m tired of it.
How many schools did you go to?
PS: I was recently invited back to play in an orchestra I played with last year. Maybe I will start to find some community there! I hope so.
So well said. I wish I had something more profound to say. I've been the new kid myself at times in my life.
Beautiful watercolor and congrats on getting invited back to play in an orchestra!!
I went to 9 different schools, 10 moves, and then homeless part of my senior year of high school. Luckily I had a car I could stay in until it broke down, then sofa surfed where I could with an occasional hotel until I graduated from high school. No college.
Moved a total of 37 times and owned 9 homes so far in my life.
I understand not fitting in all too well. As a matter of fact I’m working on a post about being the new kid in school and being teased in every school about my red hair. Different kids, same cruel jokes.
Life is interesting, isn’t it?!