Be Flexible
Make the Plan. Execute the Plan. Expect the plan to go off the rails.
At the circus, there are all kinds of acrobats, dancers and contortionists who display flexibility in such beautiful ways. I am in awe of their ability to do all sorts of things with their bodies. The next book I release will probably be my book, “Circus Skills for Everyday Life.”
I wrote a chunk of it a few weeks ago. I wrote chunks of it over the last 3 years. And about 11 days ago, I wrote a large chunk of it on the plane to get to Virginia, where I am now.
As I type this, it is nearly 2am early Monday morning. I am sitting near the United Airline Counter at Dulles Airport, waiting for them to open at 4am so I can check in for my 6am flight back to Wichita.
Fun trivia: Wichita is known as “The Air Capital of the World” because so many airplanes are built there — Cessna, Boeing, Spirit AeroSystems, and more.
And yet… Wichita Dwight D. Eisenhower National Airport (ICT) is one of the tiniest airports I’ve ever been in.
It’s so funny to be at that airport. Security is at most - 5 people in front of you. Usually there’s only 1 person in front of me there. But I have seen up to 5 people.
So that’s just a fun aside - sharing because I’m sitting at the airport and that’s my ADHD brain at work - sharing things Willy-nilly!
Anyway, so about 11 days ago, maybe 12 (numbers and I aren’t the greatest friends), I was up in a plane flying here, to Washington, DC, for a Quaker Women’s Retreat. Up in the air on a plane. No messenger or messages connection.
A huge snowstorm was coming. And the women’s retreat committee had to make a decision if they would close / cancel or re-schedule their retreat for Valentine’s Day weekend. My Friend, Inga, asked my other Friend, Stacey, “is Jodi up in the air?” And Stacey confirmed that I wouldn’t be able to answer about changing the date due to snow because yes, I was up on a plane, in the air, landing soon in Washington, DC.
Well, the committee got feedback from all the women planning to attend the retreat. There was overwhelming support for changing the date to Valentine’s weekend due to the impending snow storm.
I know that many Type A folks would be very upset by this complete change of plans.
I had packed very carefully, based on where I thought I would be staying & what resources would be available to me -
I use a new washcloth every day for my own reasons. We all have our quirks. This is one of mine. Traveling to San Diego last year, I took about 10 washcloths. My friend, Tricia, noticed me pulling out washcloths from my stash at the time. But this time, for this trip, I thought I would be at a retreat center and then a hotel. And I would have new washcloths due to the places where I was staying. So I hadn’t packed washcloths.
I packed about 3-4 days of clothes, thinking I could do laundry when I first got to the hotel after the retreat was over, and then do it again before I left.
I packed a whole suitcase of things specifically for the retreat itself - paying money to check this bag in addition to my main bag. I will be paying for 2 bags to be checked now too, going back. That’s money I had to carefully decide if I could spend or not.
I was going to lead a workshop called, “How to Travel Through Time.” It’s basically a goal-setting workshop. I bought small journals and vision board books to share at my workshop.
In addition, I brought copies of my books “Mere Creativity” and “Simple Book of Shadows” to sell at the retreat. I also brought art to sell at the retreat. And I brought clothes to wear when I did my “It’s Yo-Yo Time!” routine for the crowd at their talent show. And 4 (5?) yo-yos too. If one jams up during the routine, it’s easy to grab another, so it’s good to pack a few backups.
I also have quite the selection now of medicine and vitamins I take, trying to keep my chronic pain at bay. I’m in a decent place at the moment where my medicines and vitamins are working for me fairly well with my hormones being all out of whack thanks to being post-menopausal now, and with my fibromyalgia and other issues I have.
I didn’t pack my decaf coffee because I knew the retreat center and the hotel would have these things. Same with shampoo and conditioner, though I did pack my small bars of soap that I like.
I did not bring my nightly skin care routine. I opted instead for my favorite, luxurious Avon skin cream called “Anew: Ultimate Supreme Advanced Performance Crème.” I just love it and I have been slathering it on my neck, face and under my eyes twice a day this last week. It’s been lovely.
All of this to say, I had carefully planned what to bring and what not to bring. I strived to pack as little as I could, and I still packed more than I needed.
All of that leads to this:
Flexibility.
I was up in the air, flying to Washington, DC, to have a carefully planned out week at a retreat center then a hotel to see my boys then fly home about 12 days later.
I landed and called my Friend, Stacey, to tell her, “I am here!” She told me to take the survey ASAP about possibly rescheduling the retreat due to snow. I took the survey.
The survey results came back overwhelmingly for the retreat to be cancelled / rescheduled. (Yes, those are the terms they used - not just “rescheduled” but actually cancel and also reschedule.)
It was the right decision. There are a lot of women who don’t walk as securely as they used to who attend the retreat. Also, the hill to get up to the retreat can be a nightmare during snow.
It turns out the snow and ice were worse than I have ever seen. I lived in the Northern Virginia area for 40 years, and have seen my fair share of bad snow and ice there. I think every single snow there has ice on the top of it. It’s an East Coast thing. It’s not like the powder snow folks in Colorado enjoy every year!
Well, this time, the ice on top of the snow was up to 4 inches deep in places! I took a video of me smacking it with my boot just to show how firm it was there. It was crazy - the amount of ice on top of the snow this time!
Well, my Friend Stacey said I could stay with them. My hotel said it wasn’t refundable. I was polite to them over several phone calls & trying to make this newsletter shorter and not longer as I am wont to do, I got a full refund from my hotel. I told them the snow was keeping me from getting to the hotel. They told me they couldn’t refund my stay, and then they did. What a happy surprise! Maybe it’s because I followed a cardinal rule of my dad’s - “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.1” In other words: “Be Kind.”
So then I stayed at Stacey’s house for the whole trip. Stacey and I had a blast!
I didn’t have all my washcloths. I didn’t wash my face as much this last week, but I used my luxurious cream and sometimes paper towels to wash my face. And it worked out.
I was able to do laundry at Stacey’s house twice.
I got to have lots of bonding time with Stacey!
Also, the Women’s Retreat Planning Committee had a dinner just for them, and they let me join! Stacey and Inga were on the committee, and when we did this years ago, I was on that same committee. And they invited me to the dinner - so I still got to see my Quaker Friends that I wanted to see! It was such a lovely dinner too. Very good food, company, and even singing around the dinner table. It was a joyous evening filled with good food, good Friends and good conversation and good music was a cherry on top!
Staying with Stacey meant I could see what she needed done around her home, and she really wanted her pictures hung up. I am very good at hanging pictures! Out of college, I worked at “Deck the Walls,” talking with folks about framing and hanging up pictures and wrapping them and all the things.
And then I worked at a picture frame manufacturer after that. I painted picture frames in all kinds of fun varieties. I became quite adept at these jobs in learning about hanging pictures. It’s quick and easy for me.
For a whole day, Stacey and her husband talked about their art and where it would be hung appropriately. I walked the art to the places (rooms) where they wanted them hung.
And after everything was assigned a location, I went around and hung all of the artwork. With conversations and priorities and “where is that art? It’s not here, let’s go find it!” Happening, the whole project took about 1 1/2 days. I did hang a few things over the next few days too.
Her home is now as colorful and lovely as she is! She had collected so much art over the years and had nearly all bare walls. I hung all of her art and it’s just beautiful. I love it!
Hanging pictures and organizing color at Stacey’s house wasn’t on my travel itinerary. But it’s one of my favorite memories from the trip.
This wasn’t in my plan to do when I came on this trip, but it’s what happened. And for the rest of the week, I got to enjoy looking at all her artwork and appreciating the fact that I got to help a friend with a project she has wanted done and it kept getting stalled for one reason or another.
Flexibility.
When I got that hotel refund, I went to the airline websites to see if I could fly back here in a few weeks to still attend the retreat. I had planned to leave the bag packed with my retreat stuff at Stacey’s. But I got on the airline websites and the cost of a round-trip ticket was just more than I can do. So I won’t be going to the retreat this year.
I was able to leave copies of my books with Stacey and she will be working with another Friend of ours to get them put up at a table to be sold on my behalf. I think that’s pretty cool. So, all is not lost.
And now I am here at the airport and it’s 2:33am. And I have my bags packed & I’m ready to go. …
“I’m leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again.”
Also, I got to see my kids more. Since I didn’t attend the retreat, I got to see my kids those days in addition to the week of seeing them. I am so grateful for my kids. My kids are fabulous humans. I wish I lived closer. I miss them terribly.
I am so glad that in today’s technological world that calling them is not expensive like it used to be! And FaceTiming and Zoom calls exist. Video calls. I love the amazing technology of Video calls.
So, that’s my newsletter today. I was able to land from the plane and find out the whole weekend was cancelled. I hadn’t planned for my belongings to have to do what I had them do this last week. But it all worked out.
I never stressed about it. Stacey took me grocery shopping and we bought me decaf coffee. And I also got hand lotion and another travel toothpaste and a few small things like eye drops for my chronic eye pain.
And without the whole emotional reaction of “oh my gosh! It was cancelled! What? That’s so unfair. I am angry” …. I didn’t have any of that.
I just knew things would work out and I still got to hang out with Stacey and her daughter who I adore and also my kids. It was really wonderful.
And now I know that in the future, I am welcome to stay at Stacey’s, which means that I won’t have the big hotel expense in the future. Wonderful!
Lots of good things came about and I didn’t have to stress or worry or have angry emotions at the sudden change. I just went with the flow.
It turns out I didn’t need everything to go exactly as planned in order to have a wonderful week.
I recommend exercising your flexibility muscle if you can - whenever you can.
Park in a different spot in the lot. Imagine life from someone else’s point of view. Try a different thing at that restaurant you like, instead of having the same thing every time. Try drawing some art. Terrible art counts! It doesn’t have to be something that will hang in the National Museum of Art! Do something different and unexpected. Sit in a different chair at your table. Read or watch something from someone you don’t usually agree with - not to argue, but to understand. Practice having two feelings at once: “I am disappointed and I am also okay.”
Try being flexible. You might be happily surprised by what unfolds.
And now - for some wisdom from Leonard Snart of Marvel’s FLASH universe!
Make the Plan
Execute the Plan
Expect the Plan to Go Off the Rails
Throw Away the Plan.
I talk about this exact thing - being kind & why it’s important - from my dad in my latest book - “Write Your Own Success.” It’s in the section near the back of the book under the heading of my brother, Andrew “Andy” Crump.
It's interesting how you fluidly connect the concept of flexibility to your delightful, willy-nilly observations and creative proces, making every thought insightful.