Routines

finally figuring them out

So I am a GenXer. Born right in the middle of GenX. I got diagnosed with ADHD in my early 40s. It explained so much! Why I was labeled as talkative in school. Why my desk was always messy. Why I can’t figure out how to do things that other people seem to think are so easy.

[a photo of me sitting here, typing this exact SubStack today! I am surrounded by colors. That pink coffee cup is my dirty chai du jour.]

My grandpa had a routine back in the 70s until he passed at the age of 100 in (what year was that again?) - just a few years ago.

[a photo of my grandpa with my sweet Bella. They loved each other. I hope they are together now in Heaven. They died the same year.]

I remember sitting next to him at the kitchen counter and he would pull out a hand towel, a melamine bowl, a bottle of saline, and his contact lenses in their little plastic case and a tabletop mirror. He would pull a contact lens out of the case, squirt the saline on it, over the bowl, and then proceed to lean over the mirror and put the contact lens on his eye. It was a whole process.

After his contacts were in, he would clean up - and put it all back in a little hutch-drawer so he could use it again (probably at night to take them out, but that was likely after I went to bed), and again the next day.

That was the only routine I ever remember seeing. I don’t remember any other routines.

When my step-mom came into my life in 1979, she taught me to do a “morning routine” which was to use the toilet, wash my hands, brush my teeth and wash my face. The three things were connected and to be done together before starting my day. In the evening, the same three things were connected and to be done together to finish my day.

This was the only routine I was actively taught, that I can either remember or that “stuck.”

When I met my partner, Larry, I learned by watching him with his nightly routine. It starts with him setting up his coffee pot for the morning so in the morning all he has to do is push a button and it brews while he is getting up and ready for the day. After it’s brewed, he pours it all into his big travel cup, adds his creamer, stirs it, puts a lid on it and heads out for the day.

So his routine at night, before bed is: set up coffee pot, go out for his last smoke of the day, use the bathroom, wash, brush teeth, fill the water humidifier in the bedroom, straighten the covers on the bed, including turn on my heated foot pad so it’s warm when I get in bed after him, dress for bed, then he gets in bed and has his further wind-down time with games on his tablet.

It’s been a learning curve to watch him do his routine. Just observing the way a child observes and learns.

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I have had no concept of how to create routines outside of this until just recently when I figured 2 things out and now it’s time to share, in case this will help others, too!

I have a clear plastic bin that has my “coffee routine” in it. I have to carefully monitor my caffeine consumption thanks to my atrial Fibbrilation and my supra ventricular tachycardia. (Heart issues.) and my gastroenterologist says I need to drink coffee.

So in my plastic bin, I have put my daily coffee mixes so I don’t have to think about it.

I have my jar of decaf instant coffee, my jar of instant Chai, and a jar of mushrooms that helps rebuild my brain.¹

[My (green lidded) Chai jar and mushroom jars are currently empty. Freshly washed from the dishwasher and I don’t have spoons or need to fill them just yet. So these are the packages of the chai & mushrooms I use. I’ll fill the jars in a few days with the powders from these packages.]

Oh man, I really want to get off topic here and talk about the mushrooms. I believe I need to stay focused on the idea of this newsletter - about routines. Mushrooms will have to be their own topic for another post!

Speaking of which, I have a whole story about Bob Dylan and mushrooms in another SubStack I wrote.

So, continuing on with my morning coffee bin, near it, I also have honey sticks, creatine powder, my daily Vitamin C gummies, and I recently added my allergy nasal spray because Kansas is so full of allergens. I believe it’s the worst in the country for allergens and I live right by a grain elevator! (Think: fans, mold, wheat blowing everywhere all the time just a block from my home. It’s constant.)

[Things I take or put in my coffee concoction: honey sticks (leaving the brand name hidden. I like them but I won’t ever buy from this brand again). Molasses for Iron, Magnesium Glycinate which I mistakenly grabbed out of the cabinet and photographed thinking it was my Lutein. There is an evening routine in the same cabinet, and that’s when I use the Magnesium Glycinate. MCT oil for my gut. Creatine for my brain. Propolis and Allergy nose spray for allergies. All in the morning routine.]

Right there, I also have my weekly medicine pill sorter. So I can pull out my coffee makings, prepare everything (including using my coconut creamer from the fridge and water at the sink), and then take my vitamins, my medicines, and allergy spray all together. None of this is difficult for me to remember anymore, because it’s all right there so I can just proceed without having to rethink everything every day.²

I have been doing this coffee routine now for about a year or more. I just love it!

About 2 weeks ago, I decided to use my jars and make up several days worth of my coffee concoction! So now, all I have to do is grab a jar from the fridge in the morning and it is even less that I need to think about! Today’s pink cup was one of the “jars” because I also put some of this in my cups too.

[a few of coffee concoction jars.]

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My other routine, I just started about two weeks ago, maybe three. It’s my face care routine. I have quite the face care routine and it was driving me bonkers trying to remember all the steps at the right time (when I am in the bathroom). It’s been driving me bonkers for years because most of the time I go to bed and forgot my evening face medicine. And during the day, I’ll be out and about and realize I forgot my morning face medicine and sunblock!

So I put all my face care stuff in a spinning acrylic container. It contains all the things!

[a photo of the spinning container with all my face items in it. 5 of the items are from Avon!]

I have face cleaning wipes, cotton rounds, toner, cream for my neck, 3 different creams for my face (I love them all and alternate for my own need for variety), and my two different face medicines. There’s also my daily SPF sunblock from my dermatologist.

I don’t have to think about each of these steps anymore. You know what else is cool? I am loving sitting at my art table every day. It’s where I spend the majority of my days now! And I put the “Spinning Susan” on the book case next to me.

So I sit down and when I need a little space from whatever I am working on, I see it, and do my face care routine! My face is so much happier now that it’s being properly and more consistently taken care of!

And so these are hacks for routines for me! I don’t have to think about them anymore!

I feel so happy and excited about how easy these two daily chores and frustrations have now become!

And since building Routines has been virtually impossible for me for 5 decades, I thought I would share how I interpret routines now.

I am bursting with newsletters I want to write - I hope I can remember all the topics and get them all written!

1. Did you know the human brain and fungi are distant cousins? The underground mycelium network is an amazing web that connects mushrooms, trees, and gets nutrients from one place to another place that needs them more. Mycelium networks can signal and respond which is similar to a human brain, but it’s not cognitively the same as a brain.

2. It’s impossible for folks with ADHD to develop “habits.” We have to actively work to think about everything so we do it “properly.” When I wash my hands, I hear my preschool step mom saying, “water, soap, rub, rinse, dry.” When I brush my teeth, I used to have to worry about how much pressure I was applying but my new toothbrush does that for me - it stops when I am pushing too hard! And it has the timer on it to stop it when I have gone long enough. I have heard these luxurious stories of folks who can not even notice they are doing their routines like brushing teeth or whatever. That’s a myth and fable to me. I have to actively think about everything all the time. It’s exhausting, honestly. This is also probably why I can sit for hours and stare at the wall and just be still.