Thank you for sharing this! I would imagine that integrating would feel scary and unsafe.
The good news is, it is very safe. Someday you'll be ready, and you can be Safe Jodi and protect Safe Jodi at the same time. I empathize with not knowing how to be aggressive/protective and safe at the same time, but it is possible. I am sure you will find your way.
Protection and safety are both be rooted in caring about you. Maybe that's a path back?
I'm happy you've been safe the past two years! That's huge!!
This was so vulnerable to share and I think it’s great that you are working it out! I I am surprised to read this, but I’ve always had the impression that there was considerably more of you that I didn’t know yet, and maybe this is part of that?
I’m guessing that dealing with gaslighting so many years made it a lot harder to figure out what was real, what wasn’t, and what might be another aspect of yourself.
Interesting.
And I’m gonna steal those chance to say - I love you and I miss you! ❣️
Another thought. The other thing your two "sides" have in common is bravery, when they are fully actualized. Maybe that's what you're waiting for, for Safe Jodi to truly feel brave and truly safe? You're growing and feeling more confident on your safe side. Maybe when you're 100% there, the integration will feel more natural. 💕
I also want to add, my partner has also had multiple experiences with me telling him things that I swore I never told him. Or him telling me things like, “I was in Oklahoma” and I’m like, “you were WHAT now? I don’t remember you going to Oklahoma? What the heck?” And stuff like that. It’s bizarre and he has absolutely experienced both sides of me and seen me be 2 different people.
He is the first person, that I know of, who has experienced this with me so outright.
I do also think my older son has experienced this once in the past, also. I’m going to talk with him about that incident. Hopefully he has forgotten about that by now. Oh wait - I just remembered another incident he told me about that I have no memory of, either. Zero memory.
Thank you for sharing this. Feeling safe is super hard for me also. I’m happy to hear you have an incredible boyfriend and therapist to work through this with you.
Thank you for sharing this! I would imagine that integrating would feel scary and unsafe.
The good news is, it is very safe. Someday you'll be ready, and you can be Safe Jodi and protect Safe Jodi at the same time. I empathize with not knowing how to be aggressive/protective and safe at the same time, but it is possible. I am sure you will find your way.
Protection and safety are both be rooted in caring about you. Maybe that's a path back?
I'm happy you've been safe the past two years! That's huge!!
Love u 💕
I really really like this comment. Thank you so much for your love, compassion & friendship, Sheri. 🩷 I love you too!
Hi sweet Jodi!
This was so vulnerable to share and I think it’s great that you are working it out! I I am surprised to read this, but I’ve always had the impression that there was considerably more of you that I didn’t know yet, and maybe this is part of that?
I’m guessing that dealing with gaslighting so many years made it a lot harder to figure out what was real, what wasn’t, and what might be another aspect of yourself.
Interesting.
And I’m gonna steal those chance to say - I love you and I miss you! ❣️
I love you & I miss you, too. Thank you for being such a good friend to me all these years. <3
Another thought. The other thing your two "sides" have in common is bravery, when they are fully actualized. Maybe that's what you're waiting for, for Safe Jodi to truly feel brave and truly safe? You're growing and feeling more confident on your safe side. Maybe when you're 100% there, the integration will feel more natural. 💕
I love this comment so so much. Wow. Thank you. I’m going to read your comments to my therapist tomorrow. 🩷
I just want to hug you. I am so sorry that you had to hide Jodi to keep her safe.
Thank you, Elsie ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I also want to add, my partner has also had multiple experiences with me telling him things that I swore I never told him. Or him telling me things like, “I was in Oklahoma” and I’m like, “you were WHAT now? I don’t remember you going to Oklahoma? What the heck?” And stuff like that. It’s bizarre and he has absolutely experienced both sides of me and seen me be 2 different people.
He is the first person, that I know of, who has experienced this with me so outright.
I do also think my older son has experienced this once in the past, also. I’m going to talk with him about that incident. Hopefully he has forgotten about that by now. Oh wait - I just remembered another incident he told me about that I have no memory of, either. Zero memory.
Thank you for sharing this. Feeling safe is super hard for me also. I’m happy to hear you have an incredible boyfriend and therapist to work through this with you.